I'm walking on the ground and with each step I feel like this time, I am stuck in the mud. but I keep going anyway. I look down. everyone else is fine. like there is no mud for anyone else. I'm too scared of looking to other people. because I know they walk fast. I know they have no fear. I know they don't understand me. I'm scared of talking to them because I think talking to me, slows them down, but I keep talking anyway. In my mind, there is a picture of sky and all its beautiful parts, it is like a puzzle with no end. galaxies ... stars... little blue marble that is our whole freaking life. walking freely in zero gravity. I had to carry an O2 capsule but it was ok. I had to have weird clothes on. but it was ok. I WAS ALONE UP THERE BUT IT WAS OK. I didn't feel any weight up there, but back on the ground, only my supplies weight 82 Kilograms. I know it doesn't make sense to you. it is not a perfect metaphor